"Be somewhere you want to be... Keep on grooving because that's the key."

Why is it that the older I get the less likely I am to follow dreams, take leaps, and be spontaneous? Part of me knows it’s because I've always been the responsible one, the person who is borderline uptight. I like to have plans. I like to have everything in it’s place. I’m generally not one for surprises. But I do have a part of me, albeit a small part, that wants to follow my dreams no matter how crazy. I want to set goals and accomplish them, even if they are for no reason at all but to say that I did it. And I want to be spontaneous, even if my idea of spontaneity is measured on a much smaller scale than most.

I’m not trying to say that I’m old, because being 31 (almost 32) is hardly what I would consider old. But when I was in my early twenties, I dared to dream. And I really believed that my dreams could, and would, come true. In fact, one of my sayings was “Reach for the stars, you’ll end up on the moon”.

Now I’m tired of keeping both feet on the ground. As much as I love having order, I wish I could just live on a whim. But I’m fearful. I’m practical. And the reality is, when I was younger, I had nothing to lose and everything to gain. The older I get though, I realize that I have everything to lose. I can’t just up and do whatever I want. I have responsibilities. I have responsibilities to myself and to others.

I never really dreamed about traveling the world. Yes, it’d be nice to visit faraway places. I’m not saying I would hate it, by any means. But I was always realistic. Yes, I might want to visit Paris, Rome, Ireland, Egypt… I never thought I would actually do it though. But I did have a dream about going to Australia. And it was a dream that I just knew would come true at some point in my life. I can’t say I’ve completely given up on the that dream. I guess I’ve just decided not to work towards making it happen. Maybe it’s a dream that has changed. Or maybe you’re supposed to have a dream or two that you know will never happen. Perhaps sometimes its merely about having hope for something.

I used to think that I could live anywhere if I really wanted to. As I said before, I had nothing to lose. I didn’t have a great job, so the sky was the limit on what I could accomplish. But now I have a job that I love. I have family and friends who are or have become my support system. And suddenly, moving anywhere just isn’t as easy. How does one leave behind a secure life for an unknown journey?

The grass is always greener on the other side. You always want what you can’t have. Life is just one big cliché. It’s true.

“Follow your dreams… they’ll take you far”. That’s what I have as a signature to my emails. So what do you do when dreams don’t coincide? I don’t want to stop dreaming, but I also don’t want to choose a side. I want to make the most of what life has to offer, but how do I do that when I’m so afraid of the unknown? (Don’t worry. That was a rhetorical question.)