December Birchbox 2013

It's funny because this morning when I woke up, I made the sudden decision to try out most of my Birchbox items. I need to review them, and I figured I'd do what my sister does, and that's also show my reviews in my blog. Why not share my enthusiasm with Birchbox with all of you... the two readers or so that I have. lol. Anyway, the funny part is that I went to read my sister's blog and she happened to review her items today too! And with that being said...

My December Birchbox items are as follows:

Number 4 Non-Aerosol Spray



I like that it didn't make my hair look oily. It was also a plus that it didn't leave behind any residue. The only thing I'm not sure about it the scent. When I first sprayed it I thought that it smelled different and nice. But I tend to use quite a bit of hairspray and by the time I was done I was having second thoughts about the scent. All day long I could smell it on me. I'm willing to give it a second chance, but I doubt I'll be switching to it. I'm sure I'll allow it to accompany me on trips though.


Camille Beckman Body Butter



Between cold, dry air and washing my hands all the time, my hands tend to be on the very dry side. I try to help them by using body butter on them every night before I go to bed. I've been doing this for the last year and it seems to make a big difference, so I was excited to get a sample of a new one to try. Aside from the one I normally use, they tend to be overly greasy. This one though? This one was wonderful! It went on nice and smooth. It was a little thicker than I'm used to but you'd never know because once you had it on, it felt good. My hands felt coated and protected, but not greasy/oily. I'm extremely sensitive to scents, so I wasn't sure how I'd like this one or not. The smell is quite pleasant, but it does linger. Because I only use this on my hands it's not as overbearing, but I certainly wouldn't want to put it all over my body. If wearing this in the day time I would bypass wearing perfume since the fragrance of this is enough for me. I'm going to look into other scents and there is a very good chance I'll be switching to this brand.


Manna Kadar Cosmetics Sheer Glo Shimmer Lotion



I use a mineral powder, not liquid foundation, so I decided to use this directly on my skin. The color is very pretty, and it went on light. The only thing I'm not sure about is the shimmer. I'm grateful that's its more shimmer than glitter, but it's still more than I'm used to using. I doubt I'll use this in the winter, but I think it would be an excellent product to use in the summer when I don't want to wear a lot of makeup on my face. Once spring/summer rolls around I'll be sure to use up all of my sample, and if I keep liking it then there is a very good chance I'll add it to my lineup.


Chuao Chocolatier Chocolate Bars



Chuao Chocolatier Chocolate Bars

The choco pod that I received in my box was the dark chocolate with honeycomb. The chocolate itself had a pleasant taste, but you couldn't taste the honeycomb bits because they were so small. The bits were mainly used as a texture, which I felt was similar to a light amount of crisps being throughout. I gave it two out of five stars. Not worth it in my opinion. Maybe the other flavors are better.

And finally...

Benta Berry G-1 Exfoliating Facial Cleanser



I actually have not tried this sample yet. It's rare that I use face cleansers, let alone exfoliating facial cleansers, so I need to remember to throw it in the shower and try it.




Now, I should also explain that Birchbox is a monthly subscription you can sign up for. It's $10 a month and you get a box sent to you with a whole bunch of goodies. You can cheat and look up what you're getting or you can wait like me so you can be surprised on the day it comes. You can also sign up for a yearly subscription and it saves you a couple bucks, but I figured I'd do month-to-month for now. When you sign up you answer questions to set up your profile which will help determine what type of product samples they will send you. For instance, I'm not big on perfume samples, so I am still curious, so I opted to get no more than 6 in a year. That also means that my sister and I may not get the same products as she has a different profile than mine. It's fun to compare.

If, as a reader of my blog, you become interested in trying it out... let me know and I'll send you a referral link. It isn't necessary for you to join, but it does give me referral points and who doesn't like those?! It can also make for fun gifts for friends. Oh, and there is a Birchbox for Men (though it's $20/month instead of the $10). There is a waiting period of about 1-2 weeks, but don't let that deter you. Samples are fun - especially when they are catered to types of products you actually use or are interested in using.

"My country tis of thee"

In typical 4th of July fashion I’m wearing my red, white, and blue. I'm wearing blue jeans and my dodgers tee. Granted my tee is mainly blue with a little white and red but it's got all the colors needed, it's baseball related (and what's more American than that?!) and they are playing this evening too. It's a trifecta! (On a side note: Let’s hope they win. They’ve been moving up and I’m happy to report are ahead of the Giants in standings. Yes, this makes me very happy.)


I went to the store already and got myself all the goodies I'll need to make my Independence Day feel like a picnic. I figure I'll have a bologna sandwich for lunch (which as far as I'm concerned will be like having a hotdog). And I got an individual side of potato salad as well as an individual side of hummus. I picked up some Paul Newmans lemonade as well as a bottle of Chardonnay and a bottle of white wine (I didn't know what I'd be in the mood for later). I also picked up a salad for dinner and some chicken to go with it.

For breakfast I stopped and got a white mocha at Starbucks (I thought I remembered seeing a sign at Peets saying they were going to be closed so I didn’t bother driving there). And then I went and got a super onion bagel at the bagel place - which I'm noshing on now. My air conditioner is on. My nook is charged and I've got movies to watch. I may not have fireworks to watch tonight (though I could if I wanted to) but I think it's going to be a good day anyway. I’m certainly looking forward to it.

And to wrap this entry up, I just want to share with you a memory I have of 4th of July.

I was about 4 or 5. We lived on our old street (not the one I grew up on). This was back when anyone could do fireworks in front of their house, and more often than not it felt like a huge block party full of pyrotechnics galore, shared by all. I remember watching the spinner go around and around and around on the tree trunk across the street from us. A fire pinwheel, if you will. It was awesome! And then we did the spinning flower ones on the ground (my favorite) and a whole bunch of other ones that aren’t legal anymore. Us kids were told to stand back for fear that we’d get an arm blown off or catch on fire. Let me tell you, I was respectful towards those fireworks and stayed the hell back. I remember even then being paranoid that the roof or lawn was going to catch on fire. I still get that way when I’m around the legal ones going off in selected neighborhood streets. And then there were the sparklers. The sparklers I grew up with weren’t like the ones we have now. Our sparklers had a sturdy base and just crackled and sparkled away and then when it reached a certain point we’d throw the sticks into a bucket and leave em be to cool. I remember loving playing with sparklers but at the same time completely scared that it was going to burn down to my fingertips and take my fingers with it. I remember someone telling me to throw mine in the bucket and I freaked out in my head thinking it was going to explode on me or something and just that no one had told me it was going to happen. Of course that wasn’t the case, but I didn’t know any better. I was too young. I guess with everything else, I am fortunate to say I have great memories. I have a few other memories of the 4th that are all from when I was older, but nothing stands out to me as much as that one year. The awe through the eyes of a child.

"Come on let's cruise ya got nothin' to lose"

I love going for drives. Some might think it’s silly, but I like it. I can be the driver or I can be the passenger, but there is something to be said for hopping on the road and just going. I think that’s why I enjoy day trips so much. I can drive (with someone) two hours just to grab a bite to eat, turn around and drive home. Heck, I went with a friend to Mendocino just to enjoy the random stops along the way, the beautiful scenery, and a burger when we got there. We walked around for maybe half an hour before eating, but once we ate, we turned around and drove back. Granted it’s nice to be able to spend a little bit of time at the location you end up at, but it doesn’t have to be for the whole day. It *can* be, but it doesn’t have to be.

Yes, most of my day trips like that revolve around food. Generally there is a restaurant of some sort that is desired and I’ve always managed to get lucky in having people come in and out of my life that have enjoyed making those treks for that very reason. Someday though… someday I’d like to have that regular person in my life that I can go to those new places with, and revisit the old places.

When you’re with the right company, all you need is occasional conversation, good music, and a destination or direction of some sort in mind. Life is about the journey, right?

Things that go bump in the night.

I know it’s been a while since I’ve written here. There are plenty of things that have happened since then, day trips have happened, new restaurants have been tried, etc. etc. But that’s not what I’m here to write about today.

Very early this morning I was (obviously) sound asleep when all of a sudden I was startled awake by someone say “T”…. “T”. It wasn’t a loud or yelling voice, it was more like a loud whisper. I remember laying in bed suddenly fully awake and realizing what I heard as to why I awoke right then. It was as if someone was standing right next to me and trying to get me to wake up. I didn’t hear my full name being said, just “T” twice. When I opened my eyes, of course no one was there. I live by myself and as much as I sometimes wish I shared my bed with someone, that isn’t the case. I think it was around 2am when this happened. I immediately reached for my cell phone on my headboard to see if I had missed an important call, gotten a text, or received an email. None were the case. I have my phone set to ring at night only if a few selected people call me. The text alerts are off until 7am, and so are the email alerts, so I really didn’t think that was what woke me because it was nearly impossible. But it seemed like such a freak wake up that I felt I *needed* to check. Maybe someone, somehow, had willed me awake to get some important message. Ya know? However as I mentioned, that wasn’t it. I felt like I was in the middle of my dream when it happened. Ironically I was having an ever so casual conversation with Mariah Carey (of all people!). I feel like that dream got interrupted by this. It just abruptly ended and suddenly I was awake. But I laid there in bed and heard no unusual noise and so I went back to sleep. Weird. Very weird.

Years ago when I lived in my studio apartment, I felt like it was haunted. Luckily I didn’t feel like it was shared with an evil spirit. I felt like it was a good spirit. It never bothered me directly. I can’t say I had any weird, unexplainable happenings like moved items, etc. But the main thing that comes to mind is the sound I heard from my closet one day. It sounded like something had fallen from my closet shelf and hit the closet door really, really hard from the inside. When I went to check, nothing had fallen and nothing was out of place. From that point on I wondered. Something made that noise. I wasn’t sleeping when it happened so I can’t say it was all in my head. But to this day I don’t know what it was.

Before you suggest it, no, I didn’t watch or read anything scary last night. Nor did I eat or drink anything anywhere near before I went to bed. I don’t think my current place is being shared on a permanent basis with any spirits, however last night something happened and I truly don’t think it was part of my dream. Maybe my ears are somehow playing tricks on me. I don’t know. As I said before - weird. Very weird.

Swizzle Stick, Rev. 3

I got married in October 2007. I moved out due to the separation in April 2010. I was officially divorced in July 2011. And today I finally changed my married name back to my maiden name.

Some might question why I waited so long. I was never in a hurry to change it. I guess it just wasn't that big of a deal. I wasn't ready to change it when the divorce was first final. I had it as an option in the paperwork but I didn't really know if I would ever change it back. I suppose it was the final slap in my face about failing at making my marriage work. Maybe I kept it because I felt the punishment was necessary. Maybe I just wasn't emotionally ready to admit defeat. But recently I had the realization that by not restoring my name, I was holding myself back.I began wondering if it would feel more freeing if I did. And as with  most choices I make, once I made up my mind it was all I could think about. Full speed ahead.

When I left the social security office I felt a little bit lighter in step. I felt like a weight was lifted from my shoulders. It seems silly when I think about a name change having that sort of affect, but it has. And tomorrow I go to DMV to get my drivers license changed over. I've been on my "staycation" all week so it'll be a surprise to everyone when I go back to work on Monday. I'm sure I'll have to field questions with all my existing contacts (those that never knew me when I was my single or that I had ever been married to begin with). It won't bother me though. It's part of the process. And the immediate people I work with will be delighted simply because my maiden name is so much easier to spell (and pronounce). I'm not sure what my friends will think. I haven't told any of them. I'm pretty sure they'll be indifferent to it. I know I would be. It's really not that big of a deal to anyone else but me, and rightfully so.

Here is to the new me. Well, really the old me, but with a different revision level.

Jokes on me!

God must have a sense of humor. I realize my birthday is in about two weeks, but this really wasn’t necessary. I am fully aware that I am getting older. I still don’t consider myself to be in the “old” bracket. Heck, I don’t even consider my parents being there yet! Apparently I needed a friendly reminder though – or as I said, God has a sense of humor because yesterday at about 2:30 while merely sitting at my desk, my hip started to hurt. This has happened once before but after about two days it went away. No harm, no foul. I still went to the gym yesterday. I did 20 on the elliptical, 30 on the bike, 3 sets of crunches, 3 sets of back extensions, as well as a couple of leg weight machines. My hip didn’t bother me that whole time except when I went to walk to the next task. After , I went home, took motrin, and ended up going went to bed early.

At 2am I woke up in so much pain! I actually had to hobble downstairs to get more motrin. (Why I didn’t think to bring it upstairs with me before I went to bed is beyond me!) I finally fell back asleep around 4. In between that time of laying flat on my back and deep rubbing my ass cheek, I googled “Hip,Butt,Leg pain” and it all came back to “sciatica / pirformis syndrome”. The symptoms match up perfectly. I’m not sure why it decided to become inflamed while I was sitting at my desk though. I didn’t do anything over the weekend that would have caused this – unless it was a very much delayed reaction to Friday night’s workout. At this point anything is possible. All I know is that when I got up for good today, I could barely get up out of bed and when I did, I had to use everything in front of me for support because I could barely put pressure down on my foot because the pain shot through my hip. I’m also still not sure how I managed to get the sock onto my right foot. It hurts tremendously to lift my leg/use my hip in any way.

I remember years ago there was a girl I worked with. She missed a TON of work because of her sciatica. I always thought she was being a baby about it. I couldn’t understand how it could be so detrimental. Now? Now I get it. It hurts like something fierce. I’m just considering myself lucky because there are others I know who couldn’t get out of bed because theirs was so bad. I can only hope that the inflammation will go down and the pain will subside sooner than later because I feel like such a baby. I realize it’s not my fault that I can’t walk right. But that doesn’t make it any easier to cope with. I have a somewhat decent pain tolerance, but after a while you just want a break! It also really sucks that I can’t go to the gym today. I don’t want to hurt myself further. I doubt I’ll go to the doctor. I know they’ll tell me to take motrin and do ice/heat treatment and just rest.

*Cheers* to getting old. haha

Two steps forward, five steps back.

Do you ever feel like that is you? I sure feel like that’s me!

The gym: I’ve been going steadily for the last 1 ½ - 2 years. I went from a size 14 to a size 12. I’ve lost about 15 pounds total. I know that my sugar level and cholesterol have gone down quite a bit. I don’t feel like I’ve accomplished much though. I went out shopping two weekends ago because I needed new jeans that fit me better. I was thrilled to be trying them on and having them look decent on me. I even went and got some new work pants we’ve been approved to wear and they were a size 12. But I tried them on today and realized that they are snug around my abdomen. I knew they were like that when I bought them, but when I tried on the 14s they were obviously too big. So I got the 12s. That’s incentive to keep the weight off, yea? And it’s also incentive to start pushing even harder to lose more inches. I want them to fit comfortable everywhere, not everywhere but my waist. Am I ready for what lies ahead though? Am I ready to go fierce and get rid of the junk food I keep in the house? I usually feel pretty good about the meals I have. My problem is snacking. Sometimes I snack because I’m hungry and sometimes I snack because I know the food is in my pantry and it sounds good. The problem is that after I eat the junk food, I feel like utter crap. Am I ready to go back to an even more strict diet? Well, I guess I have to be because that’s what it’s going to take. I also need to revamp my gym workouts. Running is still out of the question for me - not because I don’t want to, but because I can’t. My knee is still giving me problems and I really don’t want to go to the doctor right now and hear him utter the words “you need knee surgery”. So it’s time I revamp things and push the envelope more. I need to challenge myself on a daily basis - which is hard for me because I’m generally at the gym by myself. For some reason I do better when I’m with someone alternating the same exercises between us. Maybe it’s because I like competition even if I know I don’t stand a chance. I’m not they type to compete against myself (one reason why I never decided to try Crossfit).

The place I call home: They say the state of your living space represents the chaos in your own life. I look around and you know what? I’d have to say I agree. While my place isn’t a pig sty, there is definitely room for improvement. I need to keep up more on the actual cleaning part. I always feel better when it’s super clean. And as always I need to work on keeping everything tidy. I’ve certainly made progress with the tidy factor, but I’m still not there yet. It also seems that no matter how much stuff I get rid of, there is still the same amount after the fact. I sometimes wish I could get rid of half the clothing in my closet. Just up and donate it. There is a good majority of it that I don’t wear, so why do I have it? Because it’s already been purchased and I like to have options. That’s why. I need to figure out another reasonable way to declutter my life. Maybe I need to suck it up and just get rid of clothes, thus emptying my closet. Maybe I need to go through my kitchen stuff and if it hasn’t been used in the last year (ok, two years) get rid of it. I have a bazillion cookbooks that I love looking through but I rarely use them. So why can’t I seem to just get rid of them!? What is my malfunction?!

Work: Actually, work is the one place where, although I occasionally get stressed out, I generally don’t have many qualms. I enjoy what I do. That is a HUGE plus in my book.

Dating: I’m not. It’s as simple as that. I tried the whole marriage thing. It didn’t work. I tried the relationship thing (albeit it was a long-distance-out-of-state one) but that didn’t work either. I’ve had a few guys ask me out, but they just weren’t right for me, therefore I’m not dating. I’m okay with that… for the most part.

So there you have it. My main trouble spots are the gym and home. Gee, how’s that for answers I already knew.

Oh. And did I mention I turn 33 next month? I'd say old enough that I should have my shit together. Don't you think?

I just need to buck up and keep at it. There may very well be light at the end of the tunnel. We’ll see.

A little bit of this, a little bit of that

This is going to be all over the place so you might want to take some Dramamine…

As I was sitting here eating my dinner at the table, I cast a glance to the side where the photographs rested. I recently started working on a scrapbook of things my sister and I have done in the last few years. I started to think about how I have evolved over that time in all aspects of life. It also made me look around my condo and think about how even though I see my future being only with myself, I someday would still like to own a home of my own - a home in which I don’t have to share walls with someone. I realize how difficult that would be - trying to buy a house on my own. I don’t make horrible money, but I certainly don’t make a huge amount of it. With someone else in the picture it could definitely be done. Had I been more diligent about my money growing up, perhaps I’d have a better nest egg set up. I don’t though, and there is no reason for me to dwell on it since it can’t change the past. All I can do is try to be better about it now. Anyway, from there I jumped to the fact that because I see myself living alone, I clearly don’t see myself having children. This isn’t news, as I’ve mentioned it before. But that got me thinking even more…

I’m not saying it gets said by everyone. I’m not saying it gets said nearly as often as I think it does. But so many times you hear someone say “I just want to give my child/children the things I didn’t have when I was growing up”, “I want to provide my child/children with what my parents couldn’t provide for me”, etc. etc. (I think you get the gist of what I’m trying to say.) I stopped to think about everything my parents have done for me… everything my parents have given to me, taught me, and sacrificed for me. My parents aren’t rich. They make decent money. I’d say they are pretty middle class in my eyes (which in my opinion is the perfect place to be. And let me also clarify that to me, upper class is the extreme wealthy. ) With that being said, I could never provide for my children (if I had any) in the ways my parents did, and sometimes still do, today. I have never looked back on my life and wished I was given more. I was never needy. They put a roof over my head, food on the table, clothes on my back, and toys in my room. We went camping and on vacations. I played sports. It amazes me the way my parents were able to provide for not only me, but my sister as well. You will never hear me utter the words that I’d like to just give to my children what I never had. I can’t think of anything that would qualify for that. I look back and think that I had a wonderful childhood. If my parents had to scrimp and save, I never saw it. Yes there may have been some toys that I might’ve wanted that I didn’t get, but I think that goes without saying for any child. They knew what I wanted the most and somehow I usually got it. Was I spoiled? A bit, yes. Sometimes by my parents, sometimes by my grandparents, but I feel like I always appreciated what I had, just as I do now. I can’t imagine having that responsibility falling on me now. Then again, if it did, I’d like to think I wouldn’t be doing it by myself, that I’d have a significant other there beside me.

In today’s society so many people feel the need to give their children everything they want, everything they ask for. Yes, it’s nice to be able to indulge now and then, but it’s also important to teach them what it means to work hard for what they want, and what it means to not always get what you want. I guess that continues into adulthood when one has to provide for themselves. I know I could tighten the belt even tighter. I could stop going out altogether and not buy anything but the absolute bare essentials. I could buy the cheapest shampoo and conditioner. I could buy regular shower soap, etc. Sometimes I feel though, that if those are the main “perks” of my adult life, why should I let go of them? Yes, I’ve worked hard to get to where I am, but I didn’t do it on my own. I’ve had plenty of help along the way, for which I am very blessed. When am I ever going to feel like I can stand on my own two feet? Will I ever?

It scares me sometimes to think that every responsibility will always fall square on my shoulders. I have to figure out a way to take care of myself for the long run. Some would say being or staying single is a choice. I guess that depends on circumstance and/or one’s outlook. Right now I see it as the only option that makes sense.

I still consider myself lucky and blessed to be where I’m at in life. I know it could be worse. Heck, sometimes I feel like I’m just waiting for the other proverbial shoe to drop, but we all make choices, we all make sacrifices. Perhaps this is mine.

"I wanna know what love is... I want you to show me"

“Want to show her she’s loved?” I just heard those words on a commercial pushing bracelets and of course it was geared towards Valentine’s Day (which by the way is TOMORROW!).

“Want to show her she’s loved?” Buy her this bracelet. Give her these chocolates. Present her with these red roses. Take her out to this restaurant for dinner. And do it all on Valentine's Day. If you do these things then she’ll know she’s loved. Right? WRONG.

I’m not saying those gestures aren’t kind. I’m not saying they can’t be heartfelt. What I AM saying is that love isn’t just about buying things for your significant other, let alone doing it on Valentine’s Day. Love is so much more than that. It’s acknowledging that special person in your life. It means listening, talking, hugging, kissing. It means telling them that you appreciate them throughout the year, not just on a hallmark holiday. I would rather receive heartfelt gratification on a more daily basis than an over-the-top gesture once a year. I would rather know that I am loved by everyday gestures like a random email in the middle of the afternoon, than someone buying me a box of chocolates because they feel obligated to. Love doesn’t have to be a commercialized bracelet given as a present. Love can be taking out the garbage without being asked. Watching a television show that you’re not interested in just because you want to spend time with that person in your life. It’s cooking a special dinner just because. And maybe it is bringing someone flowers. Flowers are fun. I’m not saying I don’t like receiving them. But why does it have to be on Valentine’s Day? Why can’t it be simply be because it’s a Wednesday and I love you? You can’t put a price on love. Love is an unwavering feeling you have towards someone. It means you’ll love them even on days you don’t like them very much. It means you’ll compromise. It means you are more focused on them than you are on yourself. Love is not giving up. Love is encouraging each other no matter what. Love is knowing they’ll catch you if you fall.

If you find yourself celebrating Valentine’s Day with someone special, enjoy every minute of it. Be serious about it or be cheesy about it. There is nothing wrong with that. Just remember that love should be celebrated year round. Don’t forget to show it sporadically the rest of the 364 days of the year.

If my head wasn't attached, I'd probably lose it.

Monday night I was taking a shower and after I put the conditioner in my hands, I proceeded to… rub it on my face as if it were face wash. Why? That’s a good question that I unfortunately don’t have the answer to. I stopped mid way as I realized exactly what I was doing, confused as to how I got to this point. Needless to say, my peach fuzz was especially soft that night.




Last night it came to my attention that I read the wrong book. How can a person read the wrong book? Well, when you’re reading a series that clearly has an order to them and you skip not one, but TWO books ahead thus reading book # 8 instead of book #6... At least I was able to laugh it off. And now I understand why some things were a bit "off" with the storyline. D'oh!



As far as I know I haven’t done anything air headed today - however the night is still young and the week is still long!