I can’t really say that today was a bad day. Work went fine. I went to the gym after and when I left I was sweaty. When I got home I cooked a healthy dinner. I did almost all my laundry (one load left… for another day) and I even purposefully dried my Dockers pants to shrink them. Now they fit better!
I’ve gone from a size 14 to almost being in a 12. I’m really, REALLY close. Technically I can pull the size 12 pants on, zip and button them, but I might not be able to sit down in them comfortably. Or I might be mushrooming over the top a little. And it’s frustrating. I was sitting here on the couch and had my feet up on the ottoman and I saw all the fat hanging from my calves. (Yes, I realize part of this is called gravity). Earlier in the day when I was doing my “killers” at the gym (that’s what we used to call them in grade school), I was looking in the mirror to see how my legs were looking. And I distinctly recall thinking “wow, when I stand on my toes (like wearing heels) my calves look pretty good.” So you can see how this now all sounds ridiculous when I look at them at home and think “ geez, I haven’t done squat with my body”. That just tells me one thing. While I’m starting to see ever so slight results, it’s time to turn up the volume. It’s time to start pushing myself even further. I still want to lose some more weight, but I also want to tone up. I’ll always be a curvy girl, and that’s fine with me. But I also want my self esteem back. I want to feel confident with my body. And I’m not gonna lie, I wouldn’t mind if guys started doing double takes. Shoot. I’d settle for first takes! I realize beauty in a person goes beyond looks, but what’s wrong with hoping that someone out there sees me and thinks “daaaaaamn, she’s got a rockin’ body”. lol
There is a guy I know who goes to the gym. I’ve seen him there a few times, but usually we miss each other. Every so often I have the opportunity to see him though. And can I just tell you that he is amazing. I mean it. He’s my new inspiration. He works his ass off! He gets in this zone every single time and he just pushes himself. We both have the same goals of losing weight, eating healthy, and just feeling better in general. Are our reasons the same? Who knows. The fact remains however, that we both want it. But I don’t push myself like he pushes himself. Why don’t I push myself like that?! I need to. I need to have his drive and determination. It seems to constantly be there whereas mine comes and goes.
So as I was saying… it’s time to kick it up a notch and turn up the volume. It’s time to push it further and see what else I’m capable of.
Monday, March 26, 2012
Sunday, March 25, 2012
"I am 32 flavors and then some"
I recently turned 32 so it seemed natural to do one of these random lists now.
1. I am obsessed with argyle socks.
2. My dream job would be working as an FBI agent.
3. I am addicted to medicated chapstick. (Cherry Natural Ice, to be exact. I like how it makes my lips tingle.)
4. My favorite scented candle is Island Orchard from Pier 1.
5. I am an avid reader.
6. I’ve been hospitalized 3 times in my life - each time required at least a 5 day stay.
7. When I was about 13, adults used to tell me that I looked like Brooke Shields.
8. I don’t get flu shots.
9. Dave Matthews Band is my favorite band ever.
10. I can’t carry a tune, but I love to sing aloud in the car.
11. I don’t rip open presents, I carefully unwrap them.
12. My favorite model is Kathy Ireland.
13. Someday I’d like to go on a hot air balloon ride.
14. I am not supposed to eat nuts, popcorn, corn, seeds, or anything else that is hard to digest.
15. I enjoy running even though I’m not the strongest at it.
16. I am sensitive when it comes to scents of perfumes and candles.
17. My favorite ride at Disneyland is Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride.
18. Someday I’m going to have an “unbirthday” party for my ½ birthday.
19. My favorite movie is Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory.
20. I have a fear of falling.
21. My biggest fear is failure… and I realize it’s inevitable.
22. I secretly want to get a full-sleeve tattoo.
23. I have my own bowling ball and bowling shoes. ( I even bowled on a league for a while.)
24. I hate vanilla pudding.
25. I also hate butter cream frosting.
26.I rarely laugh at comedians.
27. I love body piercing even though I don’t have many of my own.
28. I don’t like people touching my feet.
29. I am slowly letting go of the dream of someday being a mom.
30. I wear the same perfume every day.
31. I enjoy craft projects.
32. Key Lime Pie = yummy to my tummy
1. I am obsessed with argyle socks.
2. My dream job would be working as an FBI agent.
3. I am addicted to medicated chapstick. (Cherry Natural Ice, to be exact. I like how it makes my lips tingle.)
4. My favorite scented candle is Island Orchard from Pier 1.
5. I am an avid reader.
6. I’ve been hospitalized 3 times in my life - each time required at least a 5 day stay.
7. When I was about 13, adults used to tell me that I looked like Brooke Shields.
8. I don’t get flu shots.
9. Dave Matthews Band is my favorite band ever.
10. I can’t carry a tune, but I love to sing aloud in the car.
11. I don’t rip open presents, I carefully unwrap them.
12. My favorite model is Kathy Ireland.
13. Someday I’d like to go on a hot air balloon ride.
14. I am not supposed to eat nuts, popcorn, corn, seeds, or anything else that is hard to digest.
15. I enjoy running even though I’m not the strongest at it.
16. I am sensitive when it comes to scents of perfumes and candles.
17. My favorite ride at Disneyland is Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride.
18. Someday I’m going to have an “unbirthday” party for my ½ birthday.
19. My favorite movie is Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory.
20. I have a fear of falling.
21. My biggest fear is failure… and I realize it’s inevitable.
22. I secretly want to get a full-sleeve tattoo.
23. I have my own bowling ball and bowling shoes. ( I even bowled on a league for a while.)
24. I hate vanilla pudding.
25. I also hate butter cream frosting.
26.I rarely laugh at comedians.
27. I love body piercing even though I don’t have many of my own.
28. I don’t like people touching my feet.
29. I am slowly letting go of the dream of someday being a mom.
30. I wear the same perfume every day.
31. I enjoy craft projects.
32. Key Lime Pie = yummy to my tummy
Saturday, March 24, 2012
"It's the dawn of a new day... new hopes, new dreams, new ways"
There is this yearning inside me. It’s almost as if I’m on the verge of some dynamic breakthrough in life. My eyes seem to be open wide and I am taking it all in. The morning air is fresh and the afternoon sky is blue.
Life can be a hard journey when you dwell on your own flaws instead of focusing on your positive attributes. But sometimes it doesn’t take more than a gentle touch to be reminded of your own good qualities. Sometimes it just takes someone else recognizing your strength within in order for you to truly set out to accomplish your goals. Life always seems just a little more bearable, a little easier, when you know you have the support from someone who genuinely cares about you. Whether that support comes from a significant other, a family member or friend, it can be the best feeling in the world. That support can take you to new heights where the view has never seemed so spectacular.
I feel like I’m going to be seeing new landscapes, new horizons this year. I’m sure with all the highs there are bound to be lows. I just pray the lows are few and the highs are plenty.
I will reach the mountaintop and the sunset is going to be magnificent.
Life can be a hard journey when you dwell on your own flaws instead of focusing on your positive attributes. But sometimes it doesn’t take more than a gentle touch to be reminded of your own good qualities. Sometimes it just takes someone else recognizing your strength within in order for you to truly set out to accomplish your goals. Life always seems just a little more bearable, a little easier, when you know you have the support from someone who genuinely cares about you. Whether that support comes from a significant other, a family member or friend, it can be the best feeling in the world. That support can take you to new heights where the view has never seemed so spectacular.
I feel like I’m going to be seeing new landscapes, new horizons this year. I’m sure with all the highs there are bound to be lows. I just pray the lows are few and the highs are plenty.
I will reach the mountaintop and the sunset is going to be magnificent.
Sunday, March 18, 2012
"I'm looking forward to looking back on these days"
Every year I say I want to do something for my birthday with a large group of friends. Every year I don’t. This year I’m okay with that.
Lately I’ve been spending a lot of time with my friend Amanda. And at the beginning of the month we sat down to try and think of things we could do for my birthday. The ironic part is that we did make plans to do things that sounded cool, but due to uncontrollable circumstances, they weren’t anything we could do for my birthday. But that’s okay because through it all I realized that I just want to keep doing things I’ve never done before. I want to continue to have new experiences. I want to continue to enjoy life, and sometimes I want that joy to come from random outings. That’s what matters most. We now have tickets to the Opera in June. And in the next month or so we’ll be going on a train ride though the redwoods. In fact, just last week we ended up in Noe Valley where I had one of the best burgers ever, followed by the most delicious Lemon Drop Cupcake, lots of window shopping, and good conversation. Who needs specific birthday plans when we keep making fabulous plans just because?!
Lately I’ve been spending a lot of time with my friend Amanda. And at the beginning of the month we sat down to try and think of things we could do for my birthday. The ironic part is that we did make plans to do things that sounded cool, but due to uncontrollable circumstances, they weren’t anything we could do for my birthday. But that’s okay because through it all I realized that I just want to keep doing things I’ve never done before. I want to continue to have new experiences. I want to continue to enjoy life, and sometimes I want that joy to come from random outings. That’s what matters most. We now have tickets to the Opera in June. And in the next month or so we’ll be going on a train ride though the redwoods. In fact, just last week we ended up in Noe Valley where I had one of the best burgers ever, followed by the most delicious Lemon Drop Cupcake, lots of window shopping, and good conversation. Who needs specific birthday plans when we keep making fabulous plans just because?!
Monday, March 12, 2012
"Stop. Collaborate and listen... Ice is back with my brand new invention..."
I could be posting something that is important and has meaning. But why would I do that when I'm about to post about this...
As everyone knows, this past weekend we had our Daylight Savings come into effect. You know, the whole Spring Ahead/Fall Back. So we sprang ahead. And at first I thought I was okay with it. I was getting really sleepy at about 8:30 so I thought to myself "cool. I'm gonna sleep great tonight and my sleep schedule won't be affected after all". At 9:30 I went upstairs, climbed into bed... and layed there. And layed there. And layed there. Why was I wide awake? So I did what I shouldn't have done next. I reached for my iphone and decided to check to see what the latest and greatest free apps were. Then I made my second mistake. I downloaded one. And then, I made my third mistake. I played it. I played it for at least 30 minutes.
Oh. The app. What was it you ask? Plumber Crack.
That's right for at least 30 minutes I was in bed throwing ice cubes down the plumber's crack. Consider yourself warned. It's ridiculously addictive.
Post note: On dictionary.com it says it should be laid not layed. But that just didn't look right. So I went with what looked prettier.
As everyone knows, this past weekend we had our Daylight Savings come into effect. You know, the whole Spring Ahead/Fall Back. So we sprang ahead. And at first I thought I was okay with it. I was getting really sleepy at about 8:30 so I thought to myself "cool. I'm gonna sleep great tonight and my sleep schedule won't be affected after all". At 9:30 I went upstairs, climbed into bed... and layed there. And layed there. And layed there. Why was I wide awake? So I did what I shouldn't have done next. I reached for my iphone and decided to check to see what the latest and greatest free apps were. Then I made my second mistake. I downloaded one. And then, I made my third mistake. I played it. I played it for at least 30 minutes.
Oh. The app. What was it you ask? Plumber Crack.
That's right for at least 30 minutes I was in bed throwing ice cubes down the plumber's crack. Consider yourself warned. It's ridiculously addictive.
Post note: On dictionary.com it says it should be laid not layed. But that just didn't look right. So I went with what looked prettier.
Thursday, March 8, 2012
“Ain’t nothin’ gonna break my stride, nobody’s gonna slow me down”
There is so much going on in this head of mine that I can’t even begin to make sense of any of it. The good part is that I don’t really NEED to make sense of it. I’m really just sort of going with the flow. Which is a bit weird feeling, but I like it. I have my usual worries and concerns, but for the most part I’m just trying to get through life as happy as I possibly can. I’m trying to smile more. And I’m not questioning why certain things or people make me smile more than others.
As far as my exercising/eating right/getting healthy thing goes… well, it goes. Lately I’ve been feeling really motivated to keep pushing forward. It’s funny though. Monday I could be thinking “I rock. The sky is the limit!” and then Tuesday after working out I feel like a fat schmuck who is just never going to get there. And by Wednesday it’s anybody’s guess as to how I perceive myself. But for the most part I’m staying positive. I’ve seen a slight change in my body. My tummy is just a teeny tiny bit smaller. I think my ass is shrinking a smidgen. But I don’t see a difference in my thighs or arms. However I do feel a slight difference. I went up in weights in how many reps per set I do with the leg extensions. And on the leg press I’ve gone up one level in weight. I’ve started using a 10 pound weight when I do my reverse sit-ups. And just today I went up by 10 pounds on the rowing pull thing. So something is happening to my body even if my eyes aren’t reaping the benefits, so to speak.
I am realizing that I really need to try and save as much money as humanly possible right now so that when the time comes, I can have at least a small down payment for a new car. Sadly the car I thought I’d be getting might be out of my grasp. But I was fortunate enough to find a less expensive car that might work. I haven’t had the chance to test drive either of them yet, but they are both certainly practical cars.
I hope I can maintain this go-get-em attitude. I need to stay positive. I need to stay happy. I want to stay positive and happy. I want to enjoy life and all it has to offer.
As far as my exercising/eating right/getting healthy thing goes… well, it goes. Lately I’ve been feeling really motivated to keep pushing forward. It’s funny though. Monday I could be thinking “I rock. The sky is the limit!” and then Tuesday after working out I feel like a fat schmuck who is just never going to get there. And by Wednesday it’s anybody’s guess as to how I perceive myself. But for the most part I’m staying positive. I’ve seen a slight change in my body. My tummy is just a teeny tiny bit smaller. I think my ass is shrinking a smidgen. But I don’t see a difference in my thighs or arms. However I do feel a slight difference. I went up in weights in how many reps per set I do with the leg extensions. And on the leg press I’ve gone up one level in weight. I’ve started using a 10 pound weight when I do my reverse sit-ups. And just today I went up by 10 pounds on the rowing pull thing. So something is happening to my body even if my eyes aren’t reaping the benefits, so to speak.
I am realizing that I really need to try and save as much money as humanly possible right now so that when the time comes, I can have at least a small down payment for a new car. Sadly the car I thought I’d be getting might be out of my grasp. But I was fortunate enough to find a less expensive car that might work. I haven’t had the chance to test drive either of them yet, but they are both certainly practical cars.
I hope I can maintain this go-get-em attitude. I need to stay positive. I need to stay happy. I want to stay positive and happy. I want to enjoy life and all it has to offer.
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