“Hush, hush, lay down your troubled mind”

The last two nights my Nana has been a part of my dreams. In Saturday night’s dream I don’t recall actually seeing her, but I remember feeling her presence. It would seem silly to most, but I knew she was there because not only did I feel like she was there, but in my dream there was cinnamon raisin bread in the pantry. Every other part of that dream was just weird, but when I saw that bread in the pantry - it was like a great big hug from her.

Last night I actually saw her face. I think we might have spoken (about whatever was relevant to the dream at the time) but I don’t remember what was said. The hard part is that she never stays long, and often times they don’t turn into a lucid dream until she’s gone and it’s too late for me to realize the significance of getting to see her again.

She doesn’t visit me in my dreams very often. I don’t know if that’s a good thing or a bad thing. Perhaps it’s a blessing in disguise as dreams of her normally make me cry. In fact I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t crying right now as I type this. Often times I cry in my sleep and don’t learn of this until after I wake up and realize what I dreamed and see that my eyes are puffy and I am exhausted. On the other hand, I miss her so much that it’s so comforting when I do get to see her, even if I don’t realize it until after.

I know the idea is that you dream about whatever was on your mind last before you went to bed. But when I have dreams with my Nana in them, it’s not because I’ve been thinking about her that day. It’s as if she knows I need her. Even if the dreams aren’t about anything important, her image is there and her love is there. I really feel like she’s my guardian angel. Maybe she knows I’ve been sad lately and she knew that even though it would make me cry right now, seeing her again would make it worth it. I don’t really know. I’m just grateful for them. I can’t dream about people if I try. And trust me - I’ve tried! So to have two nights in a row… WOW.

Photos and memories are all I have left of her… and dreams.






“Sleep, Angels will watch over you and soon beautiful dreams will come true” -Secret Garden